I had a flight Tuesday on the lovely Southwest, which means open seating and misery for a frequent flyer. I boarded the plane and found a lovely, isolated window seat. A small lady took the aisle seat, perfect! I had my fingers crossed that nobody would take the middle seat. Well, no such luck. A very large man, about 6'5", decided to sit in the middle seat. I wondered if he chose our middle seat because we were both smaller and he figured he could invade my seat.
Invade my seat is exactly what he did. He fell asleep with his arm hanging over the arm rest and into my seat. I almost removed the Vera Bradley tape measure from my purse to see how much of his hairy arm was in my personal space. I decided not to use the tape measure; I thought we would have an awkward situation if he woke up and I was measuring his arm.
I used my best judgment and determined that his arm was about 3 inches over the arm rest into my seat. Not only was his arm 3 inches in my seat, his arm hair was about 1 inch long, which made it a total of 4 inches. The worst part is his arm hair kept touching me! GROSS.
Speaking of arm hair, I dated a guy once and on our first date, he asked me what I didn’t like about guys. I replied, “Do you mean personality traits or physical appearance?” He said, “Either.” Well, there are many things I don’t like but clearly I’m not going to tell him. I was having a good time and I wanted a second date. So I replied, “Umm… hairy men.”
Two months later I was at his house. We had been outside all day at the Geaux Tigers Game (LSU). He changed his shirt and when I saw his back I said, “Oh my gosh, what happened to you?” His back was full of giant, red whelps. He said, “Well, you told me you don’t like hairy men. I have a little back hair. So I had my back waxed, which I’ve never done and I had a bad reaction.” I felt bad but what kind of question is that for a first date.
I am SO glad I’m a girl. Doesn’t all that man hair look hot? And nasty? And itchy? The moral of the story… don’t invade your neighbor's airplane seat and if you do wax your arms.
Posted at 1:45 AM